Cultivating Hospitality and Beauty in the Home (as an Orthodox Christian)

The Sally Clarkson-homemaking-parenting post

Today I want to dedicate this post on all things home to the one and only Sally Clarkson. You probably already know and love Sally, but just in case you haven’t met her yet, go ahead and close out this tab and instead read one of her books (I suggest The Lifegiving Home), or listen to an episode from her podcast, “At Home with Sally” (here is a great recent one). 

I first encountered Sally three years ago, when I was about to be married and beginning to look for inspiration to create a beautiful, functional, and God-honoring home. One of her many books, The Lifegiving Home, had come up in my Amazon recommendations, but I didn’t buy it until after I had fallen in love with her through her podcast. There, I became hooked on her encouragement to women, especially mothers, in Christ—the way she inspires us to see our homes as places of evangelization, first and foremost to our own family and then to our friends and community as well. 

I soon came to see that Sally Clarkson is a true visionary of a kind I had rarely seen: someone who champions what a Christian home and family can look like and be when a joyful, fulfilled, and loving mother is at the core of both. She gives us as women, mothers, and followers of Jesus Christ, permission to dream big for the glory of God—and she encourages us to do so by means of the beautiful good things in our material world, which speak to us of the God who created both them and us. I hope she wouldn't mind me saying that, though she is an evangelical Protestant, I actually see her in this sense as deeply Orthodox. I call to mind the words of the beautiful and unique "Glory to God for All Things" Akathist, penned by an Orthodox Christian priest in a Siberian gulag:

The breath of Thine Holy Spirit inspires artists, poets and scientists. The power of Thy supreme knowledge makes them prophets and interpreters of Thy laws, who reveal the depths of Thy creative wisdom. Their works speak unwittingly of Thee. How great art Thou in Thy creation! How great art Thou in man!

Lord, how lovely it is to be Thy guest. Breeze full of scents; mountains reaching to the skies; waters like boundless mirrors, reflecting the sun's golden rays and the scudding clouds. All nature murmurs mysteriously, breathing the depth of tenderness. Birds and beasts of the forest bear the imprint of Thy love. Blessed art thou, mother earth, in thy fleeting loveliness, which wakens our yearning for happiness that will last for ever, in the land where, amid beauty that grows not old, the cry rings out: Alleluia!

A Prayer for Artists, Poets and Scientists

These words, better than anything else I can think of, encapsulate the Orthodox attitude toward creation and material reality. And they are essentially communicated by Sally herself in countless books and podcast episodes. So, I was not surprised to come across her children

Sarah Clarkson

and

Joel Clarkson

mentioning Orthodox theologians such as Fr. Alexander Schmemann and Peter Bouteneff in their writings, focusing as they do (both Clarksons and Orthodox theologians alike) on a sacramental vision of life, in other words, experiencing everyday life as communion with God. 

Sally reaches far beyond the American evangelical church, and I hope that if she ever reads this, she enjoys hearing about how I as an Orthodox Christian have been inspired by her ideas and am working to make them my own in my life. I can see that since marriage and becoming a full-time homemaker, I owe her a very great debt of helping me enact and live the Christian faith in my home, through cultivating hospitality and beauty. 

Actually, this is an old theme in my life. I have a great respect for the faith, zeal, and missionary spirit of the American Protestant church, as they have helped me in the past to reignite my own faith, even as an Orthodox Christian. The first time I am aware of this happening was when I attended Pepperdine University, affiliated with the Churches of Christ, for my undergraduate degree. My zealous and prayerful classmates helped me understand, basically for the first time, how I can cultivate my personal relationship with God. This then led to a faith crisis where I had to decide whether or not I would stay Orthodox and why, but without that crisis, my faith would surely be only a shell of what it is now. My evangelical friends helped me enflesh the dry bones of an old faith—an ancient, constant and complete faith, but one which I had not yet given permission to come to life within myself. 

Then, about ten years later, I realized while reading and listening to Sally that so many of the family traditions and ways of beauty and life she advocates for are already built into Orthodox Christianity. Like others, I had fallen prey to a temptation whispering that Orthodox tradition is outdated, stodgy, and dull. But Sally somehow helped me see that actually, nothing could be further from the truth. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and that is precisely why we have icons, that is why we commune every Sunday of His Body and Blood through bread and wine, and, that is even why we make pascha cheese and kulich bread to celebrate His Resurrection (read on for more about that!). Somehow, what Sally helped me see is that all of these beautiful and time-honored Orthodox traditions should be done, not merely out of a sense of obligation, but out of a spirit of joy, freedom, and love for God, our families and our communities. 

Despite Sally’s joyful presence (or really, unsurprisingly, since she has faithfully been working as a missionary for almost 50 years now), she has known many difficult life situations, which gives her compassion for those of us younger women who are still strengthening our muscles of faith and perseverance. So, I often turn to her for encouragement in especially difficult and challenging times. During our recent move, I binge-listened to about five months’ worth of her podcast, finding her an encouraging companion as I plowed through a holiday weekend’s worth of dirty dishes after our dishwasher had broken, and then packed dozens of boxes, all the while imagining how I could incarnate these ideas stirring within me about practicing beauty, life, faith and hospitality in our new home.  

If this resonates with you, I recommend joining Sally’s online membership, “Life with Sally.” There, Sally just finished leading a book club on her recent book, Teatime Discipleship. I read this book as soon as it came out last spring (as well as its follow-up companion which came out in the fall, Teatime Discipleship for Mothers and Daughters) and recommended it to several friends (maybe one of you reading this!). I also really enjoyed revisiting the book this year through the book club. The following post, which I have paywalled due to its personal and extensive nature, is inspired by the questions Sally asked as part of this book club. So thank you for joining me as I share how Sally, as well as many other influences in my life, are inspiring me to “incarnate” God in my home, as I strive to make home a sacrament or means of communion with Him for all who enter. I hope you find it inspiring, and I’d love to hear how you live life at home as a sacrament. 

Inspiration for This Way of Life 

St. John Chrysostom famously empowered all parents and children when he said in the fourth century that “the house is a little church.” This really resonates with me in the context of Sally Clarkson because as an Orthodox Christian, I am used to experiencing church first and foremost as beauty. We have a “beauty first” approach to religion and all of life, in the words of American Orthodox philosopher Timothy Patitsas, in his 2020 must-read The Ethics of Beauty. For beauty heals, enlivens and nourishes us, and as such, it should be prominent not only in our churches, but also in our homes, the place where physical life begins. I believe Sally would wholeheartedly agree with this statement, meditating as she does on all types of beauty, from the works of human creativity that refresh our bodies, hearts, minds, and souls, to the traditional practices that embody and incarnate beautiful beliefs. 

If the house is a little church, perhaps a further ideal toward which we can strive at home is to have it become a little monastery, the distilled essence of church. Though there are notable differences between monasteries and churches as well as families, mainly the presence of children, I think it is not setting the bar too high for families to strive to emulate something of the love and discipline found side by side in monasteries. 

“A House is a Little Church” (St. John Chrysostom) 

I occasionally spent time in various Orthodox monasteries during my twenties, experiences which are now proving formative and influential as I start my own household and family. Among that which impressed me the most about the way of life in monasteries was the way they combine strict discipline with complete mutual love. For example, monastics take their meals together at scheduled times during the day, sometimes in complete silence and other times with quiet conversation or reading aloud from a spiritual book. There is basically no snacking between meals, which have been prayerfully prepared using simple and healthy ingredients, mostly plant-based. I remember one nun carefully picking up every dry bean that had fallen on the floor, one at a time as if calling them by name. In monasteries, the community members treat one another and their guests honorably, respectfully, and warmly—laughter and smiles abound. Despite the atmosphere of calm, prayerful stillness, their personalities shine through their black cassocks, many of them possessing an astonishing degree of inner freedom and often a childlike sense of humor. Choosing an intentional life of prayer in community means keeping at the forefront of one’s life the reminder that we will answer to God for every word we have spoken, but also the deep assurance that He is a loving Father who wants to keep us in His embrace, incarnate in the community members themselves. 

In addition to my experience staying in monasteries, my earliest inspiration for Christian home life is from my parents, from whom I first learned both the Orthodox faith and how to practice generous hospitality. They taught me by example to prize both physical and spiritual beauty, anchoring my home in life-giving practices and rituals. Starting with . . . 

Music in the Home

I grew up in a music-filled home populated by five musicians and countless stringed and wind instruments. Though unlike my sister I am not now a professional musician, music and especially singing are a core part of my identity. One day, I would like to have a grand piano like the one I grew up with, on which family members could play at any time. In fact I asked for an electric keyboard with weighted keys for my upcoming birthday, so we may be getting a piano sooner rather than later. Right now, we do have a guitar that I need to mount up on a wall so it’s away from little fingers. I would also like to improve my skill on it, beyond basic chords. I also once had a friend with quite a collection of traditional African hand drums, and it was so fun to pull them out at night with company and make an impromptu drum circle. Maybe we could collect drums for that purpose, too. 

In his excellent book Simplicity Parenting which I am in the midst of reading, Waldorf teacher Kim John Payne recommends that all children have easy access in their homes to simple instruments like ocarinas, recorders, harmonicas, penny whistles, drums, rain sticks, rattles, and lap harps. I would like to build up my children’s collection of these types of instruments, as well as incorporate singing into our daily lives. As I mention later on in this post, this could include seasonal singing, such as Advent and Christmas carols, or liturgical music for other seasons like Lent, Holy Week, Pascha (Easter) and the myriad other feast days throughout the Orthodox liturgical year. I’ve been incorporating some of these seasonal melodies as lullabies before nap or bedtime, as well as during our mealtime and evening prayers as a family. In addition, I’d love to grow our family culture of singing by having classic songbooks at hand such as The Sacred Harp. On that note (haha), I would actually like to keep recorded music to a minimum, bringing it out on special occasions only, so that we don’t become accustomed to beautiful music as nothing more than consumable background noise. Instead, I’d like our family to appreciate the familiarity of silence and stillness. 

Physical Beauty In and Around the Home: Art, Creativity, and Nature

My childhood was full of visual beauty, including much time spent outdoors in the creation, as well as studying and celebrating the beauty that humanity has created throughout centuries and cultures. One of my favorite memories as a young homeschooled child is of poring over colorful history textbooks, whether on the ancient world or the Renaissance. Agamemnon’s golden funeral mask, the mysterious statues of the idealized human form from ancient Greece, striking medieval and Renaissance-era cathedrals, and sacred paintings of otherworldly beauty from all centuries of Christendom. This sensitivity and appreciation for beauty is something I want to pass onto my children and all who enter my home. I would like to have some coffee table books featuring my favorite artists, and select art prints on the wall of a few special and beloved masterpieces (see the Art Study page on Ambleside Online for extensive inspiration from classic artists). I would also like to display more beautiful religious art other than icons—specifically, I have a few favorite prayers such as the Jesus Prayer and the Prayer of the Optina Elders that I would like to display in our common areas. Orthodox worship is also full of beauty and I would like to enhance our physical experience of it at home by purchasing and using a home censer. Finally, I would like to incarnate Christ throughout our home by hanging at least one icon in each room.

In Simplicity Parenting, Payne writes that children should have access in their homes to creative materials such as paper, crayons, clay, paint, markers, fabric, scissors, and fiber arts. I wholeheartedly agree and would like to set up an art station where my children can use these items regularly. 

Kids also need access to the outdoors where they can run and play in a beautiful setting. Although our new backyard is small, I believe that with love and care it can become truly beautiful. I recently discovered the 1000 Hours Outside movement and have fallen in love with the ideal and the practice of taking my children outside as much as possible. Especially now that summer is upon us, I would like to go to our local regional parks as much as we can, fitting in some overnight camping trips on the weekend, and even visiting some state or national parks, of which my state has several. Angela Hanscom in her fantastic book Balanced and Barefoot suggests many fun ideas of outdoor activities to do with kids, including visiting U-Pick farms, going to farmer’s markets and food-related festivals, gardening and cooking with home-gardened food, cooking over a fire, foraging (I must be hungry hahaha), going to the beach, going to quality playgrounds, interacting with animals at a petting zoo or otherwise, walking places from your house, playing in sand boxes, visiting a local stream, going to garage sales, and playing in mud. Likewise, Payne in Simplicity Parenting recommends many of these same activities, as well as various “toys” or tools that children can play with outside: “buckets, nets, shovels, kites, scoops, bubbles, baskets, and containers for pouring and collecting.” I’d like to take a page from these authors’ books and make sure my children have ample opportunity to create memories in the great outdoors. 

Just for fun, I created a Family Outdoor Bingo Sheet which you are welcome to download, use and share! 

Reading for Fun

Because I was homeschooled during the elementary years, and was never involved in too many scheduled extracurricular activities even after I started going to public school for secondary, I was free to use quite a bit of free time reading in childhood and the teenage years. Though now in adulthood it can be tempting to forget about the joy of reading, especially fiction, through Sarah Mackenzie’s encouragement I have recently been rediscovering this old love. Listening to this episode from her podcast, Read-Aloud Revival, I was struck by a question she asked: “if your child grew up to emulate the kind of reading life you have now, would you be happy?” Sarah went on to call out the well-intentioned, but often backfiring, strategy of reading only “should” books: books on parenting, theology, education, health, self-help—in other words, books that we think will edify us in some way, books as means to an end. If all we read are these types of books (and they are good, important books to read!), then unfortunately in our story-deprived, utilitarian culture, we can easily deprive our minds, hearts and souls of books that simply refresh and restore us through their beauty, fun and joy. Christian professor of literature Angelina Stanford says in every episode of the fantastic Literary Life podcast, “stories will save the world,” and I am coming to agree with her. I fit Sarah’s description of a conscientious but beauty-starved reader to a tee, and realized then that something had to change in my reading life. I had already shortlisted a few names of fiction authors whose work I’d been meaning to check out, and decided now was as good a time as any. So for about a month this spring, I read only classic novels. I've now branched back out into a more rounded selection of ongoing reads, but am still making time regularly to continue perusing novels. 

For my daughters’ growing book collection, I am working through Theresa Fagan’s excellent Mother’s List of Books, as well as the classic fairy tale anthologies recommended by Vigen Guroian in Tending the Heart of Virtue. I also return again and again to Sarah Clarkson’s Book Girl for book recommendations, including much fiction! 

Delicious, Healthy, and Beautiful Food, Shared as a Family

Let us move on from nourishing our minds through good books, music and art, to nourishing our bodies through healthful and delicious food. Because food is our most basic and immediate physical need, we can forget that it nurtures our souls as well. It is a common Orthodox saying that food prepared with prayer tastes better, to which anyone who has visited a monastery and stayed for a simple meal can surely attest. We have all also experienced directly the difference between eating whole, natural foods, the way God intended for us to eat, compared with the effect that eating artificial, processed foods has on our bodies and minds. Additionally, food prepared with an eye to presentation also tastes better because of the way our visual brains are wired. Finally, probably every theologian, especially those belonging to traditions that teach the true presence of Christ in the Eucharist, has also meditated upon the fact that Our Lord gave us literal food and drink, bread and wine, as means of communion with Him and one another. So, each meal can be a microcosm of God’s love for us. 

In addition to sharing meals as a family, we have occasionally participated in a new family tradition inspired by our parish priest, in which my husband chooses a chapter from the Bible at dinnertime to read aloud and then explains it to the family, sometimes followed by discussion. 

Special Annual Traditions 

Speaking of food, let’s turn from the everyday to the special and seasonal. Sally is well known for her love of creating special family traditions around holidays, birthdays and other milestones. In our home so far, our family traditions mainly center around the liturgical year and especially Christmas and Pascha, and they are mainly food- and meal-oriented, probably because I love eating and preparing food. 

For the Nativity Fast (Advent) this year, I bought a Cradle to Cross wreath. (I would have bought a more traditional Orthodox Advent wreath with six candles for the six Sundays of Advent, but they were out of stock–back in stock now, though!) This beautiful wooden wreath has 40 holders for candles, representing the 40 days of the Nativity Fast, which lasts from November 15 to December 24. I added one tea light candle each evening at dinner and sang a verse from “Veni, Veni Emmanuel,” putting taper lights instead on certain feastdays and holidays, like Thanksgiving, St Catherine (Nov. 24–my namesday), St. Nicholas (December 6–patron saint of children, and my childhood church’s patron saint), St. Herman (December 13–unofficial patron saint of America), the Old Testament Righteous (Sunday before Christmas), and Christmas Eve. Doing this new tradition created not only a special moment each evening as a family, but gave the whole season of the Nativity Fast a special glow. It also gave me an opportunity to share my passion for singing with my family. Maybe next year, I will compile a selection of Advent hymns for a little more variety. 

For Pascha, I do food traditions that I grew up with: specifically, my family, like all Russian Orthodox families, bakes kulich (sweet yellow bread in the shape of a cylinder, flavored with saffron and decorated with icing) and prepares cheese pascha (a sweet cream cheese in the shape of a pyramid, with Easter decorations on each pyramid face). The cheese pascha can be in any mound-like shape, but I just bought a real wooden mold from Latvia, so next year I can have a traditional pyramid-shaped pascha. I didn’t make any Christmas cookies this year, and our church has a lot of newcomers who were probably new to this tradition, so I decided to make lots of extra kulich and little paschas and give them to friends. 

For a long time I have wanted to also make a colomba (dove) cake for Easter in the Italian tradition, which I encountered during my year abroad, but I have yet to purchase the specially shaped tin. There are lots of other special baked goods for the liturgical year, sometimes requiring unique tins or cookie cutters, like a heart-shaped cake for St. Catherine or speculaas cookies for St. Nicholas, which maybe one day I will get around to making. 

Another tradition I would like to work on in my family is Orthodox Christian fasting, or specifically eating according to a vegan plus shellfish diet almost every Wednesday and Friday as well as during the four fasting seasons of the liturgical calendar. I would want fasting to be a joyful and special experience, with delicious, beautiful, seasonal and healthy recipes. I would like to get the books Fasting as a Family and Fasting Food for some expert guidance on cooking fasting food for a family. 

Regular Family Prayer 

Let us continue to talk a bit more about food. Mealtimes are not only a sacramental and communal family experience, but also a great opportunity to practice prayer as a family, recentering our collective focus on God at regular times throughout our day. The Orthodox tradition offers prayers both for blessing the food and for thanking God for the food, which I share below:

Before Breakfast

O All-Holy Trinity, have mercy on us. O Lord, cleanse us from our sins. O Master, pardon our transgressions. O Holy One, visit us and heal our infirmities for Thy name’s sake. 

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages, amen. Lord have mercy (3x). Bless, O Lord.

Christ our God, bless this food and drink and the fellowship of these Thy servants, for Thou art a good God and lovest mankind. Amen. 

After Breakfast

(sung) We give thanks to Thee, O Christ our God, that Thou hast satisfied us with Thine earthly blessings. Deprive us not also of Thy heavenly kingdom, but as Thou didst come to Thy disciples and didst grant them peace, so come to us and save us, O Savior!

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages, amen. Lord have mercy (3x). Bless, O Lord.

God is with us through His grace and love for mankind, always, now and ever and unto ages of ages, amen. 

Before Lunch

(sung) Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. 

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages, amen. Lord have mercy (3x). Bless, O Lord.

Christ our God, bless this food and drink and the fellowship of these Thy servants, for Thou art a good God and lovest mankind. Amen. 

After Lunch

(sung) We give thanks to Thee, O Christ our God, that Thou hast satisfied us with Thine earthly blessings. Deprive us not also of Thy heavenly kingdom, but as Thou didst come to Thy disciples and didst grant them peace, so come to us and save us, O Savior!

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages, amen. Lord have mercy (3x). Bless, O Lord.

Blessed is God, who has compassion on us and nourishes us through His abundant gifts and love for mankind, always, now and ever and unto ages of ages, amen. 

Before Dinner

The poor shall eat and be satisfied. Those who seek the Lord shall praise Him, and their hearts shall live forever. (Psalm 22:26)

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages, amen. Lord have mercy (3x). Bless, O Lord.

Christ our God, bless this food and drink and the fellowship of these Thy servants, for Thou art a good God and lovest mankind. Amen. 

After Dinner

(sung) We give thanks to Thee, O Christ our God, that Thou hast satisfied us with Thine earthly blessings. Deprive us not also of Thy heavenly kingdom, but as Thou didst come to Thy disciples and didst grant them peace, so come to us and save us, O Savior!

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages, amen. Lord have mercy (3x). Bless, O Lord.

God is with us through His grace and love for mankind, always, now and ever and unto ages of ages, amen. 

Of course, it is not necessary to pray through all these prayers in their entirety every time you want to eat, but I love the fact that they do exist for our use and you can pull them out for special occasions, or use them every time if you so desire. 

Another way to reconnect and refresh our souls is to use the cycle of prayer, especially with morning and evening prayers which are available in any Orthodox prayer book (I use the one from New Varatic Publishing, and really appreciate its simple and accessible translation). Currently, as a family, we pray a very short and simplified version of the evening prayers before my oldest daughter’s bedtime–the same prayers I grew up praying with my family, namely, the Trisagion plus “It Is Truly Meet,” altogether taking five minutes or less. One way to make this short time together even more meaningful, which I have seen some families do, is to include a time at the end in which each family member prays aloud in their own words, thanking God for specific things and asking for help, mercy and blessings for specific situations and people. Perhaps this is a practice we will incorporate as our children develop their speaking abilities (my oldest is almost 2). 

Many people have also heard of the Hours, or certain selections from the Psalms and other prayers to be said at specific times of day. In my home, a very doable, nice little reminder of this is a simple prayer card from Poustinia Press, which I keep near the kitchen sink where I see it often. 

Special Pleasures (Just for Fun, Because God Loves You) 

Let us give one final hurrah for food before moving onto other aspects of homemaking. One unique thing about Sally that I truly love is her freedom in the Holy Spirit to enjoy life, especially the little things. She regularly talks about small pleasures that bring joy to her and her loved ones, and encourages us to enjoy our own little pleasures. For me there are so many small pleasures that I enjoy, from milk chocolate with hazelnuts, to British television shows, to reading novels. I am very partial to beautiful-looking pastries; playing the piano; listening to bluegrass music; knitting complicated patterns that my family will love; and hiking in God’s good creation. 

Life Uncluttered, One Step at a Time

Alright, back to reality: we can’t cook all this food in a messy kitchen, and someone’s got to wash those dirty dishes at the end of the night. I believe that a key component of having a restful, simple, beautiful and inspiring home, is to keep it reasonably and consistently clean and tidy. I have learned a lot about managing the need for a clean home (that is, a functional and generally nice-looking home, NOT an Instagram- or Pinterest-perfect one) from the ladies at Convivial Circle, a mentoring and professional development community for Christian homemakers. These ladies mean so much to me and I am very thankful to participate in their community of wisdom and support. They understand firsthand how hard it is to hold our ideals at the same time as accepting our constant failures when we try to enact those ideals. I hope over the years (I’ve been a member now for ten months) to come alongside them as I grow in that practical wisdom. The $25 monthly investment pays for itself many times over, almost every day, in the lessons in productivity coupled with applied and enacted faith in God, which I am learning here. 

I can’t say enough about this community and the combination which it offers of grit, humility, high standards, and perseverance, all through a lens of faithfulness to Christ and our ongoing sanctification (although this is Reformed theology, here it very much overlaps with our Orthodox doctrine of deification), and all so applicable to my everyday life at home. A key idea that I’m learning from Convivial is the necessity of taking baby steps. This is applicable in all areas of life, including but not limited to cleaning and decluttering. To be able to partake in all of the above lifegiving and godly activities, even during busy or challenging seasons, becomes more doable when I kick perfectionism to the curb and settle for a smaller version of the ideal. For example, I can’t stay with my toddler for two hours for Saturday night Vigil. If she’s having a hard time, we might only stay for fifteen minutes. And that day, that’s good enough, and was better than not coming at all. 

One last note on general homemaking and cleaning: you can’t have a clean house if your home is cluttered. On top of the many great decluttering tips and methods on Convivial, I’m drawing inspiration again from Simplicity Parenting to cut back on clutter of all types, whether of physical objects or on my time, so that I can replace both with more freedom, more space, and more life. 

The Beauty of Friendship 

If our homes are for functionality instead of superficial perfection, that’s because the most important thing unfolding within them is the relationships that they facilitate—first and foremost, within our family, but also beyond it. As Christians we are called to support our brothers and sisters in the body of Christ, as well as to reach out in hospitality to the greater community. It is a difficult season for me currently to invest in friendships, but therefore, a more necessary one! I am pregnant and in the midst of toddler parenting; we just moved; and we are coming off the busiest and holiest time of year (Holy Week and Pascha, which was May 5). My main source of lifegiving female fellowship is a small group of friends from church who are reading the Bible in a year together. We see each other at church services and have a text thread, and we also try to get together once or twice a month in person to discuss what we are learning and share fellowship over snacks and drinks. 

In general when I have an opportunity to gather with friends, I try to put thought and intentionality into it so as to make the best use of our time together. For example, I might try to think of some words of life to speak to someone I’m meeting with. This doesn’t necessarily come naturally to me, but Sally and her husband Clay have a great book called Giving Your Words that is all about how to speak words of life to your children. I think the concepts can also be applied to our friends and other loved ones. I also read an amazing book last year on how to plan events with more intentionality and effectiveness, in order to create unique, unforgettable experiences for your guests and yourself as host. It is called The Art of Gathering and I have found it an invaluable resource for thinking outside the box while planning events, in order to facilitate stronger and deeper connections and memories at said events. 

Beyond cultivating life-giving peer friendships for ourselves, we are also called as Christians to reach out to those in our communities to whom we ourselves can provide mentoring and support. Again, my time right now as a toddler mom is limited, but one thing that is on my heart is to reach out to the next generation of girls and young women. I pray for the girls in the Gen Z/Gen Alpha age group at my church by name daily, and would like to get to know them all more intentionally in some way. I remember what it was like to be their ages, and I think that if I would have had a slightly older female friend/mentor, this could have been very meaningful and helpful. Of course, God came through for me anyway, but I still want to be there, joyfully, faithfully, and proactively, as much as possible for the young women finding their way in the church today. 

Finally, Sally sometimes reflects on the messiness of relationships and life together, and how we can resolve that by drawing closer to God and also by freely extending grace and forgiveness to others. Thankfully, forgiveness comes easily to me and for that I am thankful to two formative institutes in my life. The first is my Orthodox faith, which has given us the tradition of Forgiveness Sunday at the beginning of Lent, as well as the call to reconcile before every Sunday Liturgy with those whom we have offended or who have offended us, before we approach Communion. The other is the Grow Up Mentorship with the Scholé Sisters (at the time of this writing, the mentorship is almost complete), which has given me a lot of guidance on how to be wise and mature, making good and difficult decisions in my relationships with others (particularly in leadership capacities) while reducing codependency and emotional turmoil. I am glad to say that recently I have been experiencing significant reconciliation in what had previously been a distressing relationship, thanks to these two influences in my life. 

That’s all for now! Thank you so much for joining me on this journey of sharing my love for Sally and all things home. The fact that you read my words is a huge honor and joy for me. I don’t know how often or not I will post other paywalled posts like this with extensive resources and almost 7,000 words, but I do have at least one idea, specifically: what homemakers can learn from Orthodox powerhouse St. Maximus the Confessor (sort of our Thomas Aquinas, I’d say, for the extent of things he wrote about and the deep influence he had on the church and Orthodox culture for many centuries after his life, even to this day). Let me know if that sounds interesting to you! And I’d love to hear in the comments what from this list resonated with you, and how you are incarnating and meditating on beauty, life, faith, and hospitality in your own home. 

Complete Resource List of All Things Mentioned Above (Plus a Couple I Didn’t Mention): 

Prayer and Spiritual Resources

• The Encounter App (Orthodox Christian prayerbook for your phone, with an option to read-aloud for you. The morning and evening prayers plus daily Scripture readings are my favorite use for this app.) 

• Ascetic Lives of Mothers prayer book (Orthodox Christian prayerbook for mothers. Kindle and hard copies available.)

• Hear Me prayer book for young adults (My favorite Orthodox Christian prayerbook specifically for teens and young adults. I used this from age 16-19.) 

• Book of Hours (A bit more hardcore, but nice to have in your library. The version of the Hours prayed in Orthodox monasteries.) 

• Praying the Hours prayer card from Poustinia Press (A prayer card to display in your home to remind you to stop for five seconds every three hours and turn your heart to God in the words of the Psalms.) 

• “Glory to God for All Things” Akathist, aka Akathist of Thanksgiving (The most beautiful praise of God and His creation that exists outside of the Psalms.) 

• Uncut Mountain Supply & Emilia’s Post (For beautiful spiritual items to display in your home, like prayer plaques, prints, greeting cards, and icons.)

• Holy Cross Hermitage (For home censers and incense as well as many other goods.) 

• Atlas of American Orthodox Monasteries (To aid in arranging your next pilgrimage to an Orthodox monastery.) 

• Orthodox Prayer Book from New Varatic Publishing (My Orthodox prayer book of choice.) 

• Fasting as a Family (A cookbook for Orthodox families preparing food during the fasting seasons.) 

• Fasting Food (Same as above, with a Mediterranean focus.) 

• Orthodox Advent Wreath from Legacy Icons

• Cradle to Cross Wreath for Advent or Lent

Mentoring Resources

• Convivial Circle professional development, mentoring and community for Christian homemakers 

• Scholé Sisters and Grow Up Mentorship (At the time of writing in Spring 2024, the Grow Up mentorship is almost complete—it’s basically a yearlong class.)

Books and Other Inspiration (besides Sally Clarkson)

• The Ethics of Beauty (Reflections on putting beauty first in every area of life, written by an Orthodox philosopher.) 

• Simplicity Parenting (I haven’t finished this one yet, but it’s a powerful guide to simplifying and slowing down your child’s life and your home atmosphere.) 

• 1000 Hours Outside movement + Until the Streetlights Come On (Haven’t read the book, but the movement alone and its founder, Ginny Yurich, are so inspiring.) 

• For the Life of the World (All-time favorite book after The Brothers Karamazov. An explanation of Orthodox liturgics and how they represent our lifestyle and worldview.) 

• Balanced and Barefoot (A guide to getting your kids outside more.) 

• The Sacred Harp (A classic collection of American shapenote hymns.) 

• Tending the Heart of Virtue (A guide and explanation of classic fairy tales and apologia for using them in your child’s education.) 

• A Mother’s List of Books (A Catholic-approved list of classic children’s literature for age 0-adult.) 

• The Art of Gathering (A guide to planning and hosting powerful, meaningful and memorable events.) 

• Ambleside Online Art Study (Get ideas for fine art prints to hang in your home.) 

• “Reading for Fun is More Important Than You Think”: Episode 228 of the Read-Aloud Revival Podcast (The episode I mentioned above, that inspired me to read only novels for a month.) 

• The Literary Life Podcast (“Stories will save the world.”) 

• Family Outdoor Bingo Sheet created by me

Clarkson Resources

• At Home with Sally (Sally’s podcast)

• Life with Sally (Sally’s membership)

• Teatime Discipleship (The book that inspired this post. Full of inspiring ideas on lovingly discipling others over tea and other delightful foods.) 

• The Lifegiving Home (A Clarkson classic on homemaking.) 

• Giving Your Words (Biblical and practical tips on how to speak lifegiving words to your loved ones.) 

• Book Girl (So many good book recommendations—thank you, Sarah!)