What’s Coming Next & Who It’s For
Introduction to "You Shall Be Holy: Reflections on Orthodox Womanhood"
As he who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in all your conduct; since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:15-16)
Acquire the spirit of peace and thousands around you will be saved. (St. Seraphim of Sarov)
Today I am introducing a series in eleven installments, for young women in any stage of life, who are interested in Orthodoxy or are already Orthodox Christians. I will be sharing my journey growing to love God more, finding community in the Church along that journey, and finding my own identity as a member of Christ’s Body, as well as some helpful suggestions I’ve picked up along the way so far for all my sisters who are traveling with me on the path.
We know that the goal of our life is to “acquire the Holy Spirit,” to “be holy, for He is holy.” But how do we do this? We are very much blessed in Orthodoxy to have many wonderful pastors and priests who guide us relentlessly and compassionately through their prayer for us, their Spirit-filled responses in the Sacrament of Confession, and their devotion of time and energy to their parishes. So in fact, in an ideal setting where you have a faithful parish priest, you already have a wonderful and God-given mentor.
Yet, I grew up feeling a strong desire for a “big sister” type of figure, an older, wiser friend who knew on a human level what it was like to be me and have my life, and show me the way to become holy in that real life, in the situations I face each day. I think this desire does not at all deny nor detract from recognition of the holiness and grace that comes through Confession, because it’s a desire for something entirely different: for a specific form of spiritual friendship, like a Titus 2 woman, in addition to the guidance we all need from our priest in Confession.
At the same time, in the United States and perhaps other parts of the world we are now seeing an unprecedented, inspiring surge into the Orthodox Church, including of many wonderful young women—people who are finding the Church after a lifetime of another branch of Christianity, another spirituality, or no faith at all. They are seeking guidance to this new and Orthodox way of life, so they, too, could benefit from and probably desire this type of mentorship.
Woman-to-woman friendship or mentorship can be so helpful in helping us younger women find our footing and stay on the narrow path that leads to life. It can be life-giving for older women as well. In my experience, Orthodoxy as it is lived on the ground can sometimes have a practicality problem: not because the Faith and teachings themselves are not practical (they very much are!), but simply because there is so much and so many of them. Sometimes we can get distracted by the more complicated and unusual parts, when we really need to get back to basics and focus on our own repentance.
I am far from an expert on Orthodoxy: I have no formal theological training such as seminary studies, and even if I did, there would still be so much more to learn. So these reflections are simply written by a young woman journeying down the path, for other young women who seek and thirst after an intimate knowledge of God and of one another. May this humble writing provide, if nothing else, solidarity for other women. Thank you for being here and I can’t wait to meet you (or get to know you better!).
Leave a comment!
Do you already have a “big sister” or older friend in the Faith, someone in addition to your spiritual father or confessor? Perhaps your mom, godmother, or an aunt? What has she taught you?
If you don’t have someone like this, do you feel a desire for one? Why or why not?
Do you have a real-life community of Orthodox friends who support, encourage, offer guidance, and hold one another accountable? If you don’t have one in real life, do you have one online? How did you find each other? What do you do together?
Are you a mentor for someone else? How has that relationship been for you and for your mentee?
Do you have any favorite Orthodox authors or “influencers”? What do you love about them? What life-giving messages have they brought you?
Any other thoughts, questions, comments come to mind for you after reading this introduction?
Coming Soon:
Chapter 1: God, the Lover of Each Soul
I think this is such a great idea - thank you for this post! To answer your questions:
I do have a few older Orthodox women in my life who I dearly love (my godmother and my son's godmother, to name a few), but since we have just moved to a new state, I am no longer able to see them every week! So I am trying to stay connected with them (something I am very bad at) while also hoping to form strong bonds at our new home parish. My godmother specifically has 3 adult children who have all remained very involved in the Church, even throughout college. I have gained a lot of parenting wisdom and encouragement from her. Since I was not raised in the Orthodox faith, I am the only Orthodox person in my family and cannot really connect with my mom about my faith.
I am still pretty young, both in years and in the faith - my husband and I were chrismated on Holy Saturday 2022, so it has only been about 2 years! Having a mentee is something that is far down the road for me.
As far as Orthodox influencers go, I have been enjoying a podcast called "All These Things," which is hosted by an Orthodox mom. I appreciate her balanced, realistic approach to Orthodox motherhood - I don't feel shamed by her content, but I also don't feel like she is being too permissive, if that makes any sense. I am currently reading a Psalter devotional called "Songs of Praise" by Sylvia Leontaritis, and it has been lovely so far!
Looking forward to more posts from you!
Thank you for this, Catie. I'm looking forward to your further posts.
My Godmother has been a good mentor, as well as a few other women in the parish. What they help me with mostly is laying aside the inner critic - not of myself, but of others. One in particular is very humble and serves almost without anyone noticing; I need that healthy self-denying example. I really don't have a "mentee" - probably because I'm still pretty young in the Church - 15 years on Pentecost :)
Outside the parish, not so much. Most Orthodox women on line are too gender-essentialist for my comfort - not as bad as "Orthobros", but not dealing with the differences (and similarities as humans) between men and women in a way that is satisfying to my soul. It's like a very important inner itch that very, very rarely ever gets scratched. I find this to be so not only with "tradwife" types but also those advocating for women's ordination. There's no sense of iconicity that informs either view. Interestingly, theologically it has almost always been the writings of men who have helped me the most - currently Fr John Behr. (And he answers email from complete strangers!) I am drawn to those who take a whole-cloth cosmic view of things and draw my thinking from the particulars to the Big Picture.
Do get all the rest you need!
Dana